The Rev. Fred G. Garry - February 16, 2003
Text: Romans 16 I would like to say that my prayers
sound righteous. Perhaps righteous is a bit too extreme. I wish
I could say that my prayers were more sanctimonious or pious,
dignified would even be a welcomed friend. Yet alas I must confess
that so often my prayers begin, not with pontificating supplication
like "O God and creator, all knowing and powerful, redeeming
our souls as we groan anticipating the return of your son"
but with words far less artful. A metered stanza is how I write
not how I pray. How I pray often begins with a bit more mundane
parlance. Rather than "O come, O come Emmanuel" my
prayers begin with "huh, well that didn't work out."
One of my tried and true prayers is "well, what am I going
to do now?"
I like to say my prayers sounded more
righteous, but mostly they are somewhat plebian. When I pray
I find myself saying things like, "oh no, oh no, that's
not good." Now it is true that I yearn like David does for
a clean heart and a renewed spirit, but more often I pray that
God would just make me a bit smarter. At least that is what I
pray: "how could you be so dumb, when are you going to learn?"
So often my prayers are at the same time both confession and
petition: "I never saw that coming, who would have thought?"
Behind the question, "who would
have thought?" there is a petition, "make me someone
who would have thought." I asked a retiring pastor a question
about this. His name is Dick Leon. I respect Dick a lot; he has
a wonderful life and enjoyed a wonderful ministry. I asked him,
"Dick, when was it that you came to anticipate things? I
mean, when did you feel like you knew what to expect, when you
had seen the patterns and the steps were well worn enough to
see the path, so you knew what was coming? When did this come
about for you in ministry?" Dick's answer both concerned
and inspired me. He said, "I never saw that day."
My concern with his response was simple.
This guy is much brighter than I am, much more able and gifted.
If he never achieved a sense of anticipated outcome, what hope
do I have? The inspiration though came quickly on the heels of
concern. Ministry, life in the church is ever changing, ever
new, ever challenging. Although attempts have been made and are
still sought after to find a basis to predict human behavior,
no such basis can be found. The spirit as Jesus says in John
blows where it wills.
I am always amazed at how little we really
pay attention to that picture- the spirit blows where it wills.
On the one hand we can't really embody such a picture. We have
a spirit, but we are flesh and bone, an ensouled body. We don't
blow where we will. We walk, and if the truth be told, stumble
more than stride. We can't live such a spiritual picture. If
we did we would never settle down, put down roots; we would never
see centennials or achieve a sense of longevity. Yet, while we
can't embody such a model, for we are not spirit, while we can't
embody it, we can follow it.
This is what Paul was trying to tell
the Romans at the very end and as I depart I will try as well.
By his words of greeting Paul was not spirit, he was a stumbling
pastor making friends along the way. We can see this in the greetings:
Timothy jumps in there first to hi, as does Lucius, Jason, and
Sosipater; Tertius says hello as well as Gaius. My favorite in
this list is Erastus, the city treasurer. What city we don't
know from the letter as it is written, but some city for sure.
In other words, Paul composed Romans surrounded not by lofty
ideals and philosophical concepts, but by friends and, as he
refers to Quartus, brothers.
A few lines before, Paul gives the rational
for such a band, such a group, and in so doing offers great advice.
He says, be wise as to what is good and guileless as to what
is evil. As is so often is the case with Paul's advice it sounds
practical and obvious, even a bit ideal, but it is in effect
terribly profound. The profundity can be seen when we put it
together with the list of greetings. The advice is know what
is good and don't get good at evil. In other words strive for
the truth and refrain from misdeed. Pretty run of the mill advice
until we put it with the list and here is where the profound
piece comes.
You need friends. Paul didn't write this
letter locked away. Surrounding him were Timothy, Lucius, Jason,
Sosipater (whose parents obviously didn't like him with a name
like that), Tertius, Gaius, Erastus- the city treasurer, and
Quartus. He wrote the letter as well as the advice, with the
answer not only in mind, but also in the midst of friends. To
be wise is never something we can be alone. Wisdom is always
the fruit of friendship. For without friendship whom can you
trust to tell you when you are being a fool? Wisdom is about
being with others and seeing life beyond yourself, knowing there
is little you can predict or control.
Then there is the other side: being guileless
as to what is evil. Evil is what we become when we fail to forgive
as we have been forgiven. Again, there is no way to live as such
without friends. For friends are the ones who pick us up when
we stumble. And we stumble a lot when we follow the Holy Spirit.
We are not meant to fly and move as the Holy Spirit does so following
is ever a tricky matter. God in Jesus Christ became mercy, became
light for us. In him we are ever becoming such as well, but its
not a smooth project. When I hear people talk about the journey
and the path of following Christ, the picture I have of myself
is not someone marching heroically upward and onward, but being
picked up and dusted off by friends who are trying not to laugh.
In the coming months I urge you to remember
Paul's words: be wise as to what is good and guileless as to
what is evil. Ask yourself, what is the right thing to do? Maybe
your prayers don't sound very righteous like mine. I don't find
the power of my prayers to be in my words, but in the answers.
Like Peter on the mountain seeing Jesus transformed. The voice
didn't affirm his vision and the ideas he had for building the
church; the voice said, this is my son, listen to him. In other
words, the answers are out there, listen instead of speak.
In closing I want to offer thanks. For
so many of you have been friends lifting me up along the way.
For the times where my stumbles should have caused riotous laughter
and you offered but a smirk I give you thanks. For those who
offered forgiveness for my foibles again I give you thanks. Yet
mostly what I want to thank you for is something you will become
in the years ahead.
In the years ahead you will become for
me the answers to my prayers. Again, the answers are much more
powerful than the petitions so rest assured I don't associate
you with my lack of righteousness. Soon I will find myself praying
as I do. "Hmm, that didn't work out;" "well, what
should I do now?" "now that was dumb- another shining
moment" and my personal favorite "I never saw that
coming, who would have thought?" Soon these prayers will
be answered by you.
In moments of panic I will ever have
Marin _____ to bring peace. For the Sunday after we tore apart
the chancel and began the building process she and Robert were
in here taking a look. As I walked down an opposite aisle, she
hollered out, "Pastor Fwred, stop." Taking a deep breath
she continued, "this is awwwwsum." So in moments of
great doubt, when I wonder if I have yet again created chaos
simply for chaos' sake and I pray "what was I thinking"
I will hear Mann's voice "this is awwwwsum." I will
hear her voice and remember the project wasn't even 10 percent
completed.
Soon I will have a moment where I will
retreat as I do. Most Presbyterian pastors are introverts in
terms of strength. I find great strength in solitude. In the
months and years to come I will find myself heading off and praying
I gotta have some space" and when I do I will see Paul _____
and a curious black box that seems like a large home communion
set. I will listen and remain, finding like the apostle did,
that wisdom and strength are found in friends.
Soon I will see creeks and waterfalls
in the Adirondacks and I will remember Kent _____ languishing
on his back like an enormous turtle after having fallen in a
waterfall. I am not quite sure of the theological import of this
memory. At this point I believe it is simply as Kent is just
a lot of fun.
Soon I will face parishioners whom I
have roped into some wild plan in a foreign country doing things
they never dreamed of. I will hear their complaints and their
rumbles about "that" pastor and I will pray, "what
have I done?" It is then I trust the Holy Spirit will bring
Brandon _____ to me. As a sophomore Brandon went to Mexico. This
was a bit of comfort zone stretch for him. I think Brandon needed
a bit more continuity than I provide. A big hurdle for him was
his hammer. It had gotten mixed up in all the other tools and
this was a great concern to him. Each day he would come and give
me an anxious update, "I've looked everywhere and I can't
find it." On the fourth day though I heard words that I
will keep with me for a lifetime: "I still can't find my
hammer, but it doesn't matter. The home is built and that's what
is important."
So for these and so many, many more I
thank you ahead of time. For in days to come you will ever answer
my prayers. God will bring you to me in memories, convictions,
lessons, advice. The list is too long to enumerate, as are my
feelings of gratitude. I am a much better pastor than when I
came. For that I have you to thank. I wish my improvements had
been minor modifications, yet so often they were the stuff of
deep change.
You are the body of Christ stumbling
through grace. Bless the pastors to come with your wit and wisdom,
be guileless in artless honesty. Hold fast to your friends, for
such is the way we make it to the end of this journey, being
picked up again and again by friends who weep with us, who rejoice
with us, and smirk more than mock. Amen.
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